Many years ago, before I met my husband, David, I had a very serious conversation with myself. I really wanted a thriving, happy, long-term relationship but I certainly wasn’t creating one. However, I was starting to see the light – I had had ENOUGH of those unhealthy and toxic relationships that were going nowhere. What seemed like ’sport’ in my 20’s felt more like a tedious melodrama in my 30s. My sob stories of failed relationships expanded more than a decade. Ask any of my friends! They really had to put up with me.
Finally, I decided that things were going to change. I had to undo the thought-patterns that were keeping me stuck; One such pattern was this, “I have to do everything myself because nobody really wants to help me.” It then made sense why I was attracting men who openly embraced the idea of me picking up the dinner tab routinely or paying the rent for them montly; yes, in addition to paying my own! I was attracting ‘takers’ and allowing such people to take from me over and over again. So really, can you blame them?
I then imagined how good it would be to have a relationship with someone who had my best interest at heart and who I could be myself with entirely. I wanted a true partnership of healthy give and take. I pictured all the elements of what I wanted in my ideal relationship and daydreamed about the details. I even created a list of the qualities and characteristics that I desired in this relationship so my eyes could see it on paper. I then firmly decided I would settle for nothing less than what I’d envisioned, totally trusting and acting as if I knew for certain he was on the way. Only then did he appear.
Coaching Tips: If you want your life to change, start by deciding that it will change.
While you can’t control much in the world and you certainly can’t control other people, you do have control over your own choices: your own thoughts, words, decisions and actions. Like me, you can decide what you won’t accept or put up with anymore as well as what you want more of.
For your life to change, your focus and your thinking needs to change!
Change your thoughts, change your world …
Imagine yourself enjoying the things you desire as if you already have them. You will then attract into your life the pictures you hold foremost in your mind. And be patient. We live in the world of time and space. We can create some things instantaneously, like a good mood, and other things will take longer than we want them to and think they should. Little by little, you’ll become more comfortable working with your thoughts; especially when you understand that most thoughts don’t have instant manifesting power. There is a buffer between your thoughts and their manifestation which gives you time to make improvements and corrections as you go, and to become clearer about what you really want.
Affirm: “I can have anything I set my mind to.”
Try This: Concentrate on where you’re going and what you want to experience! Keep your mind trained on your new direction going forward! Make a list of what you really want and keep giving these desires your positive thought energy.
If you need help, call me! I can help you shift your focus and stick with your new direction. Or, get support from someone that can be a good sounding board for you. Someone that isn’t afraid to call you out on your baloney or rough you up a little when you start to drift into a negative frame of mind. I was fortunate to have this kind of support from my friends, who were also coaches. They weren’t afraid to set me straight on what I really could create.
You CAN still have what you want, no matter what!
