
~Nelson Mandela, South African Statesman and Nobel Prize Winner
A baby that is learning to walk falls a lot. You did too and yet that simple fact didn’t stop you from eventually learning to walk. The adults in our world knew that we would fall when we learned to walk. They even prepared us for it and supported us through it, so why is it so unacceptable for us to fall now? As we grew up, we began to believe that falling at something meant stopping. Falling doesn’t mean stop. Falling just means that you have something more to learn or practice. As adults, we can take ourselves so seriously sometimes; but in truth, it’s no big deal if you fall whenever you’re trying something new.
Learn from the fall or the “failure” and do it differently next time. Pick yourself up after a stumble, brush yourself off and continue moving forward.
You Will Stumble. Just Pick Yourself Up
Here is a new way of looking at failure: Thomas Edison told us that we should expect to fail many times in our lives, and not only should we accept failure as a part of life, we should invite it! After 10,000 attempts to create electricity and failing, Edison was asked how he felt about his failure. His reply was this: “I now know the 10,000 ways not to do it!” Edison would not be defeated because he knew he was 10,000 steps closer to his goal. Can you imagine how different our world would be if Edison chose to stop trying?
I mentioned the following quote in a Masterful Living article a few years ago, and it’s worth repeating again. Basketball great, Michael Jordan once said:
I’ve missed over 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and I missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is also why I succeed.
Even when we’re told that failure is a part of being human, we don’t ever want to do so. But so what if we do? Successful people repeatedly tell us that failure was a big part of their greatest success stories. You will make mistakes, you will fail and you will come up short at times. Be patient with yourself. See your most recent failure as quite possibly the best thing that could have happened. That might sound silly, and maybe it is silly, but what if it were true? What if you saw each failure as a clear sign that you’re actively engaged in the game of life, versus sitting-it-out-safe on the sidelines looking in?
Losers never win because they never really play. And winners lose all of the time and that is also why they win.
Falling down can be so frustrating. But it’s not the falling down that matters, it’s the staying down that keeps you down. Like Edison and Jordan, all you have to do is get back up and continue going on. Keep your wits about you. Laugh at yourself from time to time.
Negative People Might Criticize You
Please understand that some people will criticize even your most well-intended actions and your most successful accomplishments. And some will actually relish in your failures or mistakes. But also understand that this criticism is not about you. Usually, it’s about the person dishing out the trash talk. Rarely should you take criticism personally. And don’t ever take it personally when somebody is happy at your expense. Be objective and be your own decision-maker. Trust that you really do know what’s best for you and remember to consider the source of such negativity. Who is mocking you? Who is disapproving of you? Is it really about you? And is this a person whose lead you would follow?
Most negative people are really just scared and many would never dream of taking the same risks that you are willing to take. Some people will stay down after a fall and then wonder why it’s so easy for you to keep moving forward. Have compassion and move on anyway. And Some people, even good people, seek ways to temporarilty ease their own pain; many times their pain exists because of their own choice to let an important dream die. Your repeated attempts at success could push a few of their well-concealed buttons. For some, it’s just easier to make you wrong for striving for better life than it is to dust off the old dreams and get going on them again.
Be Willing To Change the Way You See Yourself
If you think you can, you CAN! If you think you can’t, you’re right. If you think you can do something, you’ll find a way to do it. You will turn obstacles and failures into learning experiences for your growth. Challenges then become something you can work through and learn from. Similarly, if you think you can’t do something or that failing is bad, you will let these very same challenges stop you. You will point to them as the reasons why you won’t succeed. Because successful people exist on the leading edge of thought and innovation, they run up against more challenges than the average person. They have many more failures than most because they’re always going for it. They don’t let themselves be stopped by challenges, and neither should you.
Coaching Action Challenge:
Is there something that you’d really like to have in your life but you’re struggling to get there? You might not know how to make it happen. You might be frustrated by your set-backs and failures. Well, you don’t have to know all of how to make it happen. Just get going. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Take the next step. Sometimes only one will be obvious to you. Then all you have to do is keep stepping.
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