Pick Yourself Up and Dust Yourself Off — no matter how many times you’ve been down

 

“The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”   

 

 

~Nelson Mandela, South African Statesman and Nobel Prize Winner

 

 

 

A baby that is learning to walk falls a lot. You did too and yet that simple fact didn’t stop you from eventually learning to walk. The adults in our world knew that we would fall when we learned to walk. They even prepared us for it and supported us through it, so why is it so unacceptable for us to fall now? As we grew up, we began to believe that falling at something meant stopping. Falling doesn’t mean stop. Falling just means that you have something more to learn or practice. As adults, we can take ourselves so seriously sometimes; but in truth, it’s no big deal if you fall whenever you’re trying something new.

 

 

Learn from the fall or the “failure” and do it differently next time. Pick yourself up after a stumble, brush yourself off and continue moving forward.

You Will Stumble. Just Pick Yourself Up

 

Here is a new way of looking at failure: Thomas Edison told us that we should expect to fail many times in our lives, and not only should we accept failure as a part of life, we should invite it! After 10,000 attempts to create electricity and failing, Edison was asked how he felt about his failure. His reply was this: “I now know the 10,000 ways not to do it!” Edison would not be defeated because he knew he was 10,000 steps closer to his goal. Can you imagine how different our world would be if Edison chose to stop trying?

 

I mentioned the following quote in a Masterful Living article a few years ago, and it’s worth repeating again. Basketball great, Michael Jordan once said:  

I’ve missed over 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and I missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is also why I succeed.

Even when we’re told that failure is a part of being human, we don’t ever want to do so. But so what if we do? Successful people repeatedly tell us that failure was a big part of their greatest success stories. You will make mistakes, you will fail and you will come up short at times. Be patient with yourself. See your most recent failure as quite possibly the best thing that could have happened. That might sound silly, and maybe it is silly, but what if it were true? What if you saw each failure as a clear sign that you’re actively engaged in the game of life, versus sitting-it-out-safe on the sidelines looking in?

 

Losers never win because they never really play. And winners lose all of the time and that is also why they win.

 

Falling down can be so frustrating. But it’s not the falling down that matters, it’s the staying down that keeps you down. Like Edison and Jordan, all you have to do is get back up and continue going on. Keep your wits about you. Laugh at yourself from time to time.

 

Negative People Might Criticize You

 

Please understand that some people will criticize even your most well-intended actions and your most successful accomplishments. And some will actually relish in your failures or mistakes. But also understand that this criticism is not about you. Usually, it’s about the person dishing out the trash talk. Rarely should you take criticism personally. And don’t ever take it personally when somebody is happy at your expense. Be objective and be your own decision-maker. Trust that you really do know what’s best for you and remember to consider the source of such negativity. Who is mocking you? Who is disapproving of you? Is it really about you? And is this a person whose lead you would follow?

 

Most negative people are really just scared and many would never dream of taking the same risks that you are willing to take. Some people will stay down after a fall and then wonder why it’s so easy for you to keep moving forward. Have compassion and move on anyway. And Some people, even good people, seek ways to temporarilty ease their own pain; many times their pain exists because of their own choice to let an important dream die. Your repeated attempts at success could push a few of their well-concealed buttons. For some, it’s just easier to make you wrong for striving for better life than it is to dust off the old dreams and get going on them again.

 

 

Be Willing To Change the Way You See Yourself  

 

If you think you can, you CAN! If you think you can’t, you’re right. If you think you can do something, you’ll find a way to do it. You will turn obstacles and failures into learning experiences for your growth. Challenges then become something you can work through and learn from. Similarly, if you think you can’t do something or that failing is bad, you will let these very same challenges stop you. You will point to them as the reasons why you won’t succeed. Because successful people exist on the leading edge of thought and innovation, they run up against more challenges than the average person. They have many more failures than most because they’re always going for it. They don’t let themselves be stopped by challenges, and neither should you.

 

Coaching Action Challenge: 

 

Is there something that you’d really like to have in your life but you’re struggling to get there? You might not know how to make it happen. You might be frustrated by your set-backs and failures. Well, you don’t have to know all of how to make it happen. Just get going. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off. Take the next step. Sometimes only one will be obvious to you. Then all you have to do is keep stepping.

See you Next Month!! Christen

Go Ahead and Do it Scared

 

Have you been stuck in a rut, or totally stalled-out because you’re afraid of going for a desired goal or dream? 

I’ve been in those shoes too, the shoes of feeling great fear. It was nearly ten years ago that I had to drag my body, kicking and screaming, to a Toastmasters group so I could learn to speak better in public. I was absolutely terrified to stand up in front of people and expose myself — that’s what it felt like to me: total exposure. I went so far as to memorize my 4-minute introductory speech word for word. I practiced for days on end, too, so there was no chance of me screwing up.

This was supposed to be an easy talk where I was to tell the group a little about myself. Simple enough, right? But I kept thinking, “What if people don’t like me? What if they criticize me or worse, laugh at me?” I had myself nearly convinced that my world would come to an end if I said something to embarrass myself. But do you know what I discovered? I discovered that most people were very encouraging and supportive of my efforts. I also discovered that my world did not come to an end, even when I goofed up; rather, it actually expanded. Because of these things, I was glad that I didn’t give in to my fear.

 The fear never went away in the beginning. In fact, it took many years of being willing to “stand up and do it scared” before I found the self-assurance needed for me to speak to larger groups today.  I began to build confidence after a while but I never felt confident first. This taught me an important lesson: I can still do it, even though I’m really scared.

You’re Scared? So What! That Doesn’t Have to Stop You

  

Through practice, I’ve learned to develop what I call my ”so what” coaching attitude which sounds like this:

  

You’re scared. So what?  Don’t make a big deal out of it. You can’t wait to not be scared. Everyone is scared, even those who don’t do much with their lives so go ahead and do it scared. Only then will your fear subside.

  

I’ve said nearly these exact words to my clients, some who resist me at first and most who later fully embrace the idea because it really seems to work. You see, you can’t wait for your fear to go away before you hop on the path of your dreams and goals. The reason for this is simple: you could be waiting for an unnecessarily long amount of time before you start living the life you truly want.

  

Go Ahead and Do it Scared

  

To make great progress is to take great risks. So in order to make progress, you might have to risk looking like a fool for the love of your goal. But you can do it. You can risk people laughing at you for following your heart. You can leave the safe road behind — if it no longer serves you — to risk a path that feels more adventurous or rewarding to you. Yes, risk may cause fear but there’s nothing wrong with being scared.  Fear is a part of life so you may as well go ahead with the life you dream of anyway. Your fear doesn’t have to stop you or control your actions. In regards to the risk that you’re contemplating now, just remember this: you can accomplish whatever you believe you can, whatever you decide to act upon and whatever you can envision for yourself.

  

It really is okay to make some waves and face some criticism. It’s okay if you’re loved ones throw out negative comments and roadblocks. This won’t last forever. It’s quite possible (if not certain) that you’ll eventually receive the admiration and appreciation of your loved ones as you dare to live your best life. In fact, you will fail them if you fail to be yourself. Everyone benefits when you find the nerve and confidence to step forward despite your fears and despite the temporary resistance presented to you.

  

With Risk Comes Reward

  

With risk comes reward and here is why…

1) Your greatest feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment follows your greatest risk.  No one gets very excited about accomplishing something easy. It’s fun to be challenged and to feel that special satisfaction that comes with finishing a tough job.

  

2) Your real pleasure will come from your labor not from you leisure time You might have to risk yourself to live a life of purpose and meaning. Your choice might not be a popular one but when you make up your mind to do what counts, you’ll also experience the rewards of making a difference in this world.

  

3) You will experience dynamic personal growth when you take a risk. Vibrant and lasting inner change occurs when you risk yourself in the face of resistance and challenges because you’ll understand more deeply what you’re really made of. When you look fear directly in the face and courageously take a step forward anyway, you’ll come out a winner for the simple reason that you took that step.

  

4) You exponentially increase your odds of success. When you risk yourself, you do expose yourself to a chance of losing, but you also expose yourself to the chance of winning.

  

Consider This: Confidence is Something that You Earn

  

Don’t wait to feel confident before you take the risk that you’ve been considering lately. And don’t expect for your fear to subside beforehand either. Most certainly, don’t hang around until the world agrees with your decisions and above all, don’t hope to reach consensus with everyone in your life before you make a move. Take a risk! Do it for the love of your goal! And don’t worry. Confidence, personal growth, self-reliance, support and the ability to manage fear will all come later. These are just some of the great prizes that you’ll earn only after a risk is taken.

 

Until Next Month!

Christen

The Power of Daily Action

  

Are you feeling a little jaded about goal-setting because you think, “What’s the point? I never quite reach my goals anyway!”  

If your answer is “Yes,” I can honestly say, “Me too! I’ve been there.”  I personally don’t like it when I have to re-do my goals because I set some that I didn’t reach.  Maybe you’ve set some goals for 2008 and have already lost steam because things aren’t moving along like you hoped they would. Here we are in February and some of us are already feeling a little (or a lot) behind. The exasperation that follows can cause us to give up on our goals even before we give them much of a chance to bloom. No matter how you feel about goals, I’m going to ask that you consider dropping your aversion to them — if you have any — for one reason. And that reason is this: successful, happy, productive people have goals. And because you are human, it’s healthy to have desires, something positive to shoot for, and something good to look forward to. 

Here is something to consider: It doesn’t matter if you don’t reach all of your goals. The process of going for your goals is a meaningful and worthy pursuit. 

Having goals and taking action on them enriches your life, helps you grow as a person and brings experiences to you that you otherwise wouldn’t have. Plus, if you’re not growing, you’re stagnating. It’s just the way it is. Here is my guess on why we shy away from our goals almost as soon as we set them: OUR GOALS SUDDENLY LOOM LARGE AND SEEM TOO HARD TO REACH!  I hear this from my coaching clients a lot. 

So, here are my tips for getting moving again on those things that you really want in 2008…  

Achieve Great Things by Attempting Small Things 

 Big things are accomplished by thinking small, because small things are the only things we can do right now. Don’t underestimate the power of the small. You can achieve great things by attempting small things, step by step and day after day. Chinese Philosopher Lao-tzu wrote the Tao Te Ching, or “Great Way,” more than 2,500 years ago. His wise guide remains a relevant source of inspiration today. In it he wrote:  

“A tower nine stories high starts with one brick. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”   

I think that might be the most commonly quoted phrase from Lao-tzu’s entire work because it’s so encouraging. We can begin from where we are, right here, right now. It doesn’t matter what set of life circumstances we’re dealing with. Thinking big makes our goals seem daunting and unrealistic, unachievable even. And when we’re overwhelmed, we tend to procrastinate and stagnate.  Don’t get me wrong. I want you to have BIG dreams. I am a believer in the philosophy, “The Bigger the Dream, The Bigger the Dream Come True,” but I’ve learned that goals and dreams can be accomplished ONLY by us choosing our next step and taking it — over and over again. We get to the end result through daily action, not by fretting or daydreaming about the final destination.  

If You Can’t Do A Lot, Do a Little  

Taking action is not to be confused with going at a frantic, exhausting pace that leaves us feeling burned out and unable to enjoy life as we’re going along. Taking action should feel empowering. It builds lasting motivation because the feeling of accomplishment is generated from the inside.  If you can’t do a lot today, just do a little and chalk that up to “being enough”. 

Think about this: Before you say ”I’ll do it tomorrow” and put off taking the next step to advance your goal, do just ONE thing today. People that study human behavior tell us that it takes about 20 minutes to get into any task. So be good to yourself and honor the goals that you’ve set for your life. Give yourself a full 20 minutes to drop into action and get into the flow. Do just ONE thing today; after that, if you’re still not in the mood, leave it alone for the rest of the day and pick it up again tomorrow. At least you’ll know that you did something positive, even if it’s just ONE thing.  

 If you do just ONE thing to advance your goal every day for one full year, you will be 365 steps closer to your goal!!!   

And 365 steps are a LOT of steps. Surely you will be much further along with any ambition you have in your life. And you’ll progress quite nicely without burning yourself out or turning your world upside-down.  

Coaching Tip — Take It One Day at a Time 

Great results are achieved by taking daily action, one day at a time. You don’t have to deliver anything big today so take the pressure off.  Just keep the wheels in motion. Keep the mojo going. Begin today and let your momentum take care of the rest. Yes, you must take part in your life and show up to participate but you don’t have to take the joy out of living by setting yourself up to be nothing less than superman (or woman).  For example, I have a woman in my practice who is running a business on her own. She recently told me, “Daily action, one day at a time, is all I can do right now. And so far, it seems to be the only thing that has ever really worked for me.” So you have your goals. That’s awesome! You’re off to a great start. One day at a time is all that is required of you now. 

Until Next Month,

Christen

Take Your Own Advice

 

Believe it or not, my January newsletter is always the hardest one for me to write. Every year, for the past nine years (which is exactly how long Masterful Living has been in existence) it’s been this way. For some reason, I feel this unexplained pressure. I think it’s because I assume a greater responsibility to send you off into the New Year with the best pieces of coaching wisdom that I can possibly dig up from my tired mind, which sometimes feels likes it’s still suffering from a holiday hang-over.

But just as soon as I finished writing that last paragraph, another thought occurred to me; maybe I’m not supposed to be giving you any new advice anyway. Maybe I should just be reminding you of some things that you already know. Besides, I’m sure you’ve been getting loads of advice for how to get this year off to a great start. When it comes to any advice, I encourage you to do what my coach encourages me to do:

  

Take the best of what people say, and leave the rest

  

This year could be about taking the best stuff that we’ve learned from the past and applying this knowledge in new and creative ways.

Here’s what I’d like to do this year. I’d like to take the pressure off us both and stick with a pretty simple message this month. I’m going to be straight with you and give you only one piece of coaching advice and here it is:

   Do what is best for you this year!  

In other words, take your own advice

  But just in case you want more…. 

Here are My Top Ten Pieces of Advice for Getting 2008 Off to a Great Start  

1. Dance to the beat of your own drum  
2. Take one valuable lesson that you’ve learned from the past and put it into practice — make it your own 
3. Do what you love and what makes you happy
4. Do what feels good and right to you
5. Choose goals and jobs and past-times that add to you level of joy
6. Go to the places that YOU want to go
7. Spend time with the people who you actually enjoy
8. Do something that you’ve always wanted to do even if it’s an unpopular choice
9. Don’t take advice from people who don’t seem very happy or successful or who aren’t walking their talk
10. Take your own advice. Follow the wisdom of your own heart 

I’m not trying to get myself off the hook by telling you to figure it all out on your own. I’m throwing the ball in your court because I know that you CAN figure it out on your own. You already know what’s best for you and you already know what kind of year you want to have. I would simple encourage you to go live it. Hoist your sails and set yourself free.  Have a wonderful New Year. Go make this year the year that you’ve always wanted to live and that you know you can live.

  I recently had a client hire me who said this, “All I want from coaching is this: I want to BE that woman who lives inside of me — the one who I know I can be in the world!” 

You can be that amazing person who lives inside of you too. You know the one I’m talking about. Maybe this year, you’ll let yourself BE her!

  

And that’s about it. Run the best of what I say and what other people say through you own filters, apply what seems good for you, see if it works and then let the rest go. But, if things aren’t working out very well in your life, look to at least ONE piece of advice from someone you trust and go SEE if it actually has some merit. And if so, make it your own ‘advice to self’.

   Until Next Month,

Christen

Saying Goodbye to the Past: Letting Bygones be Bygones

 

2007 was quite a year. All said, it was a great year for me, although, like any other year, I went through some ups and downs. I successfully established some wonderful new relationships and met a lot of interesting people but I encountered some conflicts too. In fact, just when I thought I had cleaned house entirely, I again had to distance myself from a few argumentative and difficult people who created some discord in my life (and in the lives of others). Looking back, these interactions didn’t feel so good.

Isn’t that the way it is for most of us? Most of our joys and conflicts are experienced in relationships with other people. 

How about you? How did you do in the area of relationships this year? Did you fare well? Was it a relatively peaceful year or are you still recovering from a recent battle?  Maybe, like me, you had to completely walk away from a relationship in 2007. Like some of my clients, you might have felt deeply hurt or betrayed by a person you trusted.  No matter how aware of a person you are or how good your own heart is, it’s probably fair to assume that you’ve clashed with a few people in recent months. You might be mad at a few people still. That’s okay; it’s normal. The question is, are you willing to let those negative feelings go now?  –not for anyone else’s good but your own.

 Forgiveness is for You

Sure, other people have been mean or inconsiderate of you and you’ve been perfectly justified in feeling angry. But you don’t have to carry around pain because of someone else’s actions. If you do, you’re really only harming yourself. Holding on to unforgiveness is like repeatedly swallowing acid which keeps burning up your insides long after the other person has moved on. It is you who pays the high price for being a vessel of anger. When you hold unforgiveness in your heart, you are only punishing yourself in the end.

 Coaching Tip

Let go of anger and resentment and let yourself be healed. You don’t need to forgive the action, just the person — so that you can restore peace within. I’ve heard it said, “You can carry that weight for a thousand more miles or you can just lay it down.” My suggestion is that you lay it down.

 Consider This

Forgiving someone doesn’t mean that you agree with their actions nor does it mean that you have to hang around with people who don’t treat you well. Forgiveness  simply means, “I am no longer willing to carry around pain and hurt in response to your actions.” This declaration allows you to move on and surround yourself with people who have your best interests at heart.

Coaching Action Challenge

 The holidays are a great time but they’re also a stressful time. Just like with weddings, births and other major life events, the holidays seem to bring up people’s “stuff” — the best and the worst. Don’t go into December holding grudges from the past. Be free of the drama this year and allow yourself to experience the holidays in a new way, free of past injuries.

Make a sincere effort to let go of at least one experience that has hurt you in 2007. And keep only the good parts. The end of the year is a good time to reflect and take an inventory of where we’ve been. And the holiday season is also an ideal time to let go of the pain from your past. This way, you can move forward, taking only the happy memories with you, into a much brighter future.

Quote for the Month:

“If criticism is mistaken or mean-spirited, rise above it. Maintain the high ground when you’re under fire. No victory is worth winning at the expense of picking up the mud that has been slung at you and throwing it back.” ~Rubel Shelly
Preacher, Educator and Author

 

Don’t Let the World Change You

 

“People of character do the right thing, not because they think it will change the world but because they refuse to be changed by the world.” ~ Actor and Author of Michael Josephson

 I love Halloween night. This year, I had a fun and amusing time handing out candy for the kids who came to my door. They were dressed in an array of costumes, both cute and scary, and they were clearly having a fabulous time too as they went trick-or-treating around our community. I was reminded of how much I loved being a kid at Halloween and of being a child in general, looking at the world through wondrous eyes. When I was a child, I spent most of my time anticipating fun and adventure and free treats as I went skipping along through life. Life was enchanting then. And according to my neighborhood kids, it still is. So, what happened? Why am I not always captivated by life anymore? Where did that spring in my step go, and what happened to my skipping along with a song in my heart?   

Sometimes I ask myself, “Have I lost that childlike sense of wonder somewhere?” If the kids on my street have discovered that the world is still an enchanting place then why do I not delight in it even more than I do?  Maybe I’ve let some of the ups and downs and the disappointments begin to change me a little. Maybe I’ve buried myself under the seriousness of my ever growing to-do list. Maybe I’ve let some of the negativity in this world drag me down. Have you been doing this number on yourself too?

While most of the people who know me would say that I’m still an optimist, I’m going beyond that. I’m challenging myself to find the enchantment in life once again. In fact, my coaching challenge for the month of November (as we head into the holiday season – supposedly the time of joy and wonder J) is that we all recapture our natural state of joy and carefree happiness. We don’t have to go over the top but just far enough to get a good and lasting glimpse of what true goodness feels like.  What do we have to lose? One the one hand, we run the risk of looking a little foolish; but on the other, we could find ourselves genuinely enjoying the holiday season this year. Is it possible to choose happiness even when the world is stressed to the max or other people are going around the bend? And after we’ve read yet another holiday card that says “Find the Joy this Holiday Season”, can we take a moment to discover what that means for real, even if it does sound a bit cliché?

 Don’t Let it Get You Down  

For the whole month of November, I’m asking you to operate under the premise that the world is a good place or that it isn’t such a bad place, even if it looks that way sometimes. Don’t let it beat you up or drag you down. Refuse to let the world that you see on the outside change you from within. Sure, there are days when we have piles of evidence that prove how hard life is or how bad the world is, but we must also trust in the goodness and then we’ll find it. Don’t let those long security lines at the airport zap your energy or let the mad panic to buy the perfect gift get in the way of a good day. And even when life looks worse than bad, I’m going to suggest my next point, which is this…

Be the Change You Want to See

Last holiday season, a friend of mine gave me a simple greeting card with a famous quote by Gandhi on the cover: “We must become the change we want to see”. I’ve kept this card in my “favorite things” drawer because I find it to be a simple, yet profound reminder for us. The questions it poses are “Who do you want to be in this world?” and “How do you want to show up in it?” To begin exploring these questions for myself, I came up with a few do’s and don’ts and here they are for you too…

Coaching Don’ts

  

·         Don’t let the world taint your opinion of the good person that you are

·         Don’t let the world change your mind about how good life can be

·         Don’t take on the bad attitude of others or let their rotten attitude spoil your good day

Coaching Do’s

  

·         Do let the negative, critical, hurtful comments of a ‘naysayer’ roll off your back

·         Do believe in yourself, no matter what

·         Do give yourself another chance after you’ve been hurt or criticized. When you fail, don’t write yourself off or consider yourself a failure. Just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again

Consider This  If we want to see more good in this world, we can’t be sitting around waiting on the world to change. Instead, we have to be the people that we came here to be. And on a less global scale, we can simply be the change we want to see in our own daily lives. In other words, if we want to experience more love, we must first be more loving towards others. If we want to witness more gentle acts of kindness, we must find ways to be kind to people, even when they can’t be kind in return.  If we’re waiting for the world to change into something that we would better prefer, we could be sitting around for a long time, completely missing the boat regarding how good life can be right now. This was the lesson I took from the kids at my door this Halloween: Life is good, actually.

Until Next Month,Enjoy Your Life and Live the Day!

Christen

Givers Gain

 

“Give to the world the best you have, and the best will come back to you.” ~Ella Wheeler Wilcox

One of the greatest perks about being a talk show host is that I get to meet a lot of people who are up to some really good things. Just this week, we interviewed Mary Carwile, a breast cancer survivor and the author of “Heartstrings and Pink Ribbons” which provides heartwarming and sometimes heart wrenching stories of those who have been diagnosed with this frightening disease. What struck me most about Mary is how passionate she is about getting the message of comfort and hope out to the world; and how she donates $2 to breast cancer research with every book sold. The same week of Mary’s show, we also interviewed two bachelors, Mat Bogs and Jason Miller who have traveled the country in a bus (with Mat’s grandma) recording and documenting stories about happily married couples. Children of divorce, they decided they wanted to discover the secrets of successful relationships from the experts themselves – ordinary people who’ve been happily married for over 40 years. A percentage of proceeds from the bachelor’s book and documentary film, “Project Everlasting” are donated to the Alzheimer’s Association and the University Kidney Disease Research Associates.

  What stood out for me was how happy, positive and strong all three of these people are. Yes, they’ve had challenges and have faced adversity in life, but each one of them has chosen to turn those challenges into opportunities to help people and give back to the world. And all three are quickly moving up the ladder of success and are experiencing many rewards because of their giving attitudes.   

That brings me to this month’s topic. If you’ve ever wondered if being a good person is a worthwhile pursuit, I assure you that it is. Givers really do gain in the long run.

The Boomerang Effect

Just like a boomerang curves in the air and comes back to you, whatever you “throw” out to the world will circle round and land back at your feet. If you smile at someone, in most cases, they smile back. If you’re kind to people, they’re usually kind in return. This also works in the other direction. If you complain to someone, they will share their complaints with you; if you get angry at someone, they will get angry with you. Some things come back right away and some things take time. Nevertheless, you have a choice about what predominantly shows up in your life; and even when you’re faced with adversity (and we all are), the attitude you choose will directly cause your experience.

The Ripple Effect

Another way to view this is to think in terms of the ripple effect. When you drop a pebble in a pond, it ripples out over the water effecting widespread change. The waves then hit the shore and come back to you in an even wider pattern.

This means that givers gain! If you want more joy and happiness, bring happiness into someone else’s life and watch how happiness come back to you. Need Money? Give some away; and give from your heart. Connect with a feeling of gratitude and abundance while doing so. If you give from the space of feeling guilty because you think you should give even though you don’t want to, you’ll continue to create more feelings of guilt and of being deprived. Spiritual leaders and financially successful people have been telling us this for eons but we forget to embrace it.

What you put out really does come back. Yes, you will have bad days so don’t stress over the occasional bout with the blues. You’re human and you’ll have bad moods. It’s your overall attitude that will win in the end. Whatever you give you will gain. This means that if you  gossip, complain and share misery on a regular basis, you will amplify the presence of these things because you’ve openly invited them into your life. My friend Marla Mitchell (our Spiritual Wellbeing Expert for Live the Day radio) says, “When you love yourself, others will love you.  If you respect yourself, others will respect you. If you are honest with yourself, others will be honest with you. If you appreciate yourself, others will appreciate you too”.

Principle of Giving: If you plant one seed, you don’t just get one back. You get hundreds - maybe even thousands! This is why happy people get happier and unhappy people get more and more unhappy.

Tip: Be of service today. Be genuine and come from your heart. Put your whole focus on “How can I help?” instead of “What might I get out of this” because you will experience rewards from being loving and considerate of others. Some of the rewards are immediate and can be seen or felt right away; and some are off in the distance but are still coming you, so be patient and trust that your good deeds will bring rewards.

Question: Ask yourself, How can I give today? What can I do to brighten someone else’s day? 

Try This: Offer a spontaneous act of kindness today. It can be as simple as offering a smile, holding a door for someone or letting someone merge in front of you in traffic. No action is too small so don’t underestimate the exponential effect of a positive, giving gesture. Try it today and see how it works for you. 

  Until Next Month,

Enjoy Your Life and Live the Day!

Christen

“I’m Going to Be Happy, No Matter What!”

“Getting as happy as you can be takes care of everything. Even if you don’t have reason to be happy –make it up. Fantasize it. Make a decision that you’re going to be happy one way or another — no matter what. If I have to ignore everybody; If I have to never watch television again; if I have to never pick up a newspaper again, I’m going to be happy.” ~ Abraham Hicks 

 I found the above quote by Abraham-Hicks when I was browsing around the internet this week looking for my daily dose of inspiration. It struck a chord of truth within in — which got me excited about sharing it with you. You see, I appreciate straighforward and simple advice even when it isn’t easy to apply. Think about it, wouldn’t it be great to have the talent of being happy, no matter what? Even as I write this, I realize that being happy isn’t a talent at all, but a choice that we make from moment to moment. And this same choice, made over and over again, can eventually become a habit that can greatly improve the quality of our lives. 

My good friend and radio co-host, Rachelle Disbennett-Lee, has a favorite saying that sums up this choice, “Today is the best day of my life and it’s only getting better!” 

It’s really fun to be around Rachelle because she radiates this ‘best day’ point of view and it rubs off on those around her. Or, as she has shared with me, this attitude occassionally causes a few people to get upset. When Rachelle is asked about her day and she replies with, “This is the best day of my life”, she sometimes meets up with confrontation or hostile disbelief. “What do you mean this is the best day of your life?”, they’ll say. And then nastily, “Your life must not be very great then!” But, so what? No matter what, Rachelle still gets to choose the tone of her day and therefore determine that quality of her experience, regardless of what other people are choosing for themselves.

Being Happy for Ourselves Even When Others Can’t Be

Whenever you decide to grow, or make a change in your life, you can expect to get flak from some people.  I don’t say this to take the wind out of your sails. This is not a negative judgement call but simply my observation of life. In fact, if you know it’s coming – the lack of support from some people — you can prepare yourself for it and still choose to be happy!

One of the complaints that I hear repeatedly from my clients is this, ”I’m making positive changes in my life that I feel good about, but nobody else does.” If this is you, remind yourself that you are not responsible for other people’s happiness and you can’t control their opinions. The truth is, you aren’t going to make everyone happy or inspire everyone to support your choices, even when these choices are healthy. Some people will openly challenge or question your decisions, especially when you decide to do something that doesn’t conform with what’s considered ‘normal’. It’s more than okay to choose the road less traveled by, but many folks aren’t up for that kind of thing. 

Isn’t it possible that the good and happy changes that you’re making are challenging the beliefs, paradigms and life choices of those who can’t support you? And when this is the case, these same people might choose to make you wrong rather than look at their own attitudes. They might be thinking (perhaps unconsciously),  “I wish I could do that; but because I’m too afraid to, I’ll have to quickly make you wrong for it.” But it’s okay. Some people simply aren’t ready to examine their own decisions squarely and honestly; so it’s just easier for them to be critical of you than it is to be more self aware. Sadly, some people have forgotten to choose happiness and some have even forgotten that happiness is a choice at all. Nevertheless, each person is ultimately responsible for creating their own brand of happiness. This means that you’ve got to please yourself. If you are happy with the changes that you’re making, sometimes that has to be enough. 

You Can Be Happy Even When…

• People have disappointed or betrayed you
• Somebody else is having a bad day and gets upset when you don’t join in their misery
• Nobody seems genuinely supportive of your goals and dreams
• The day is falling short of your high hopes
• You are falling short of your high expectations or you didn’t complete your to-do list
• Nothing runs smoothly, on time or according to your plans

Coaching Tip: Being happy is a choice. Don’t let other people’s misery effect your level of joy. If you have to ignore the phone when it rings because you need a few minutes of peace, let it ring; it’s okay if the caller gets annoyed when you don’t pick up. If you don’t want to listen to the negative gossip at work, walk out of the room and seek better company. If you have an emotionally draining person in your life that you have to ignore to remain light and cheerful, ignore them. You are NOT responsible for anyone’s choice to be happy or miserable but your own. Be mature. Be your own adult. Be free to negativity today and decide to be happy, no matter what. 

 

Until Next Month,

Enjoy your Life and Live the Day!

 

 

 

Christen

Christen teams up with Denver’s Diva of the Airwaves

Christen Co-hosts

Live the Day!

with Coach Lee

Talk Radio at its Most Positive

 

Tune in to our thought-provoking, fun and highly energized dialouge with leading authors, international speakers and some of Denver’s hottest local personalities!

Live the Day! radio is a nationally syndicated show and airs in six US cities every week

LivetheDay!radio

Saturdays at 7:00 a.m. on WFAM AM 1050, Augusta, GA
Saturdays at 8:30 a.m. on KCNW AM 1380, Kansas City, KS
Saturdays at 11:30 a.m. on WSKY AM 1230, Asheville, NC
Saturdays at 6:30 p.m. on WYRM AM 1110, Norfolk, VA
Sundays at 8:30 a.m. on KNUS AM 710, Denver, CO
Sundays at 12 noon on WLMR AM 1450, Chattanooga, TN
Sundays at 3:00 p.m. on WYRM AM 1110, Norfolk, VA

We will be reaching more cities this year but you don’t have to wait for us to come to your town!

You can listen live, anywhere,from the KNUSwebsite

 

I am very excited to share the fun news that I will be joining Rachelle Disbennett Lee on Live the Day! Radio in September.  Live the Day! is a program that features a superb guest every week. Someone who has accomplished great things by simply following their heart and taking action on their best ideas! We talk to ordinary people who have done extraordinary things, one step at a time. This show has already seen huge success in Denver and is growing by leaps and bounds across the country through the airwaves and around the world through the internet.   Together, Rachelle and I will be reaching more people and sharing countless motivational success stories with you.

If you are ready for positive, inspirational and highly energized programming, tune into our show on your radio or computer. Soon you will be able to ask us questions or give us your show ideas on our Live the Day! blogs. At this time, you can access Rachelle’s blog by clicking here

Live the Day

For those of you who have been to my Your Abundant Life Free eCourse and have listened to my Decision audio: Decision , I talk about one of Rachelle’s first coaching sessions with me. Nine years ago, I hired Rachelle to help me build my coaching practice — together we were successful in that venture. Now, Rachelle is bringing me on board to help grow this wonderful and thought-provoking show! Tune in! I promise you won’t be disappointed.

Live well and make this day a great one!

Christen

How Do I Know I’m on the “Right” Path?

 

Many of my clients ask this question of me, “How do I know if I’m on the right path?” I still ask it of myself sometimes. In fact, this question usually creeps in when my goals are progressing along at a turtle’s pace or when things aren’t happening the way I want them to. If the circumstances in your own life aren’t flowing very easily at this time, you might be wondering this very same thing.

As I look at this question in a greater context, I’m